apointmeants and freedom

well yesterday at 4 we dropped the kids of at my mother in laws for the night. and came home we had a bath and got ready to go out. we went to a restaurant it was lovely it was a Mongolian bbq cooked in front of you so we could try different meats i tried ostrich and then the normal kind there was fish too but im allergic to it. well shell fish anyway. it was all very tasty and set out so you could try lot of different dishes for the same price. we then went home i made a cake out of the slimming world recipe it was half a syn for the whole cake. tasted too much of cheese but it was ok and sweet.

This morning we work at 10.15 with no crying no alarm no appointments or work to go to it was lovely. we had a nice breakfast and then set of for the kids. Then it got busy we had an hour the an appointment for me so grandparents had the kids whilst we went. doc had a good look and i have to go for some tests under sedation im worried sick and scared but need to doing. it is on the same week as a filling in my top wisdom tooth I HATE THE DENTIST so not very happy then the same week have to go in for this. came home and went and did rainbows. martyn isn't feeling too well so tension was running high when i got home. it was ok though the kids went to bed and we came to bed too.

good day

I've had a good day today not been over my syn value (slimming world) whent to town today with my sister and the kiddies and whent to relate with hubby (been going for 10 weeks) it is going realy well me and martyn are putting our marrige first for a little bit. we are talking so much more and getting to know eatch other again.
emily went to ballay today she realy enjoyed it. It was so nice to see her enjoy it.
whent to acwafit this evening im now shattered she worked us so hard in a good way.

I saw the funniest thing coming home, a cat seamed to be standing agenst a wall. I looked closly and it was infact stud on its back legs with one of its front paws against the wall. i giggled thiking it would be so funny if it was having a wee. And do you know what it did some thing even funnier it had a poo stud up with one paw against the wall then shook its bum. I just wish i had filmed it for you been framed...

potty training and the joys

this last week we have been working on potty training.
emily loves her potty now but keep doing little kitten wees and demands to take them upstairs to empty then. It is so sweet but fel like i have been up and down all day. Oh well im sure the exsersize will do me good. she is running round trying to avode me as I a trying to get a pull up on her (both my children are in cloth nappies) i am just trying to help her pull her pants up and down so she can go to the tolet. omg i havent changed my sons nappy (omg never done that before))
............
over and out lol

first time

my name is Michelle
I have wanted to start a blog for some time but never got round to doing it. I am 23 and will be 24 in aug, i have had 3 children and i am married. there is a lot I want to write. I just don't want to babble it all out at ones as i feel that would be too hard to rite (for me) and too hard to read for anyone who is going to read it.

My first child (Charlotte) was born in 2004 she was a very tiny 4lbs 7oz and was so perfect it was untrue.. she had disabilities and had a lot of hurdles in life to get through for one so little and young. She was a very happy child, and we had so much fun and memories. unfortunately i had bad post natal depression at the time and never got help for it ( I didn't know I had it) in November 2005 Charlotte got ill and she passed away very suddenly after but a few hours in the hospital. Our lives fell apart.

After a year and a half on fertility drugs (started when Charlotte was a year old)
we got pregnant with emily she was born in 2007 we were thrilled she was just scrumptious she took to feeding fine, was healthy and happy. at about 4months i started getting ill had days of depression and big huge bouts of anxiety i got very ill until my husband and I talked and we went to the doctors i got diagnosed with post traumatic stress and post natal illness. i was stabilised on medication for a while.

then we found out we were pregnant with number 3 we were very happy, i was still on medication but not a high dose. At 20 weeks i went for my atomany scan to be told we were having a boy. I was shocked very! to say the least. i never expected to have a boy there was only one in our family out of 8. From that day i got worse my anxiety bubbled up getting higher and higher and making me very sceared.

I finely excepted i needed more help. I was referred to psychiatric care, I spoke to a lovely doctor who gave me so many ansures i had been looking for. She new my anxieties and she was able to help me so much by telling me more people felt like i did. she referred me to a cpt who came to my house for a chat. First it was every week then after a few months every 2 weeks then when i have my son it was every week again. m medication had been upped so much i was sleepy so much.

when my son was born it became apparent he had the same syndrome as my first (UN diagnosed syndrome as of yet) he has disabilities like she had but his hart is ok and that was the fatal disabilities she had. when he was 4 days old he got sick so we took him back to the hospital (he had open excess) he became very ill very fast and was soon having bloods done and lumber punctious, his leg swelled up and we thought he was going to lose his leg. Thankfully he didn't and after surgery and a hip brace for a few months he was ok.

I still have a problems with post natal illness i am still on medication and i still have big bouts of anxiety.
I am very over wight so at Christmas i decided enough was enough and i was going on a diet. 7weeks ago i joined slimming world i was a full stone lighter than at Christmas. so in 7weeks on slimming world i have lost 11lbs so far.