On a personal note

Just looking back at old posts thought I would do a very short update.

I am now almost finished by BA,HOn degree after needing to defer for a year for personal reasons. I am almost finished my disatation.

It is nearing my tenth wedding anaversery to my wonderful husband and friend Martyn we are going on holiday just the two of us in aug and were very excited.

Both our children are in full time school now from nursery last time I posted. Joseph did have epilepsy (again from years ago)
Emily is six and Joseph will be five in aug.

The starting line

So I started today whilst in town with my children I picked up one or two things.
It's seems silly but I'm a bit excited.

So I have
A jar of honey , two jars of jam in different flavour each had until 2015 date ( I know they will last longer well especially the honey which has been found in ancient pirromids still edible.
I also got four tins of tuna and some rice packs. The tuna was 2014
As I have said before I am not stocking up for long term just enough for a couple of months.

I spoke to my mum today who has always had a full pantry since I was a little girl. I said I'm getting a stock together she said it was a good idea. As we chatted we discussed having enough to get by on.

Last month my husband hurt his sturnam and had to have in the end two weeks off work and because his work is manual and shitty he got very little sick pay. We got by and it is only because of my thriftiness and putting little bits of money away we could afford to get by.

It's not just food you should be stocking up on it is money too. Every little bit helps I am we'll a were that we can only get by because we have no depts or credit cards I will not apologise for this and would not disrespect other who did but even if you do have debt a pound in a jar a day wouldn't do you wrong.

So after two weeks off our savings is nearly empty again but we are starting putting it back in so if anything did happen we could pay our bills. Having a months bills/shopping in a savings account for just in case.

I now need to find some dry box to start packing our pantry things in. We haven't go too much room so I think I will stack them up on the shelves so we can use things as we need them just keep replacing them so there not just left.

I have seen that some preppers store watered too but I'm a little hmm about this. We live next to a canal and river so no water has never occurred to me. I may buy a few large bottles to put to one side but I won't go over bored.

Because I had the kids with me I couldn't really look through things properly in town but there is so much pounds shop things I could spend a fortune. Medical things I have been getting for a few years but never thought to have a stock of them. We get a bit complacent about things we have easy access to so my next step is to collect small amounts at a time of things. Such as badges plasters, medical cream, burn cream. Feminine produce, and personal higeen (no idea how to spell that and my spell check won't find it) so things like tooth past disposable razors ext.

I have again been looking at weapons I'm still on the no no type thing but I would love to hunt. I was to try rabbit but the butcher never has any and iv herd there bleeding excpencive which is strange. I would love to try my hand with a bow and arrow but really ones can cost a fortune. I saw some cheap crossbows but my husband things they maybe elligle. There is some hunting knives that I would need if I were to be catching rabbits.

I just wish we had a Cardenas we could raise our own and chickens I would love to have some hens for laying and eating too.

We have a little yard in the front off the main road we grow some veg but the snow has been terrible and killed all the seedlings so its a no no for us right now.

Will blog again soon

Iv either got OCD or I'm been very sensible

Iv started getting in to prepping iv always had it in me when I first got married I would fill the pantry up with tins ext so we would always have food but Martyn would moan so I stopped but thinking of how the uk has got over the last few years. Food is getting more and more expensive to buy people are losing there jobs and the second any adverse wether comes along to supermarkets get empty. Now I know this will sound like paranoia but the uk knows what it is like to be hungry we are so better off than many of the poor countries but during the war food went first even when you had the money to buy food it was still impossible to find. The uk replies on so many other countries for it produce even back then and today's market is just as bad. Once upon a time us been an island went for us been able to protect all sides now however now it is against us we no longer have the room, the wether or the money to be self efficient again.

I not saying we will go to war again or anything drastically life threatening will happen but as the bills rise up so dose my worry on feeding my family.
I am unsure how to start prepping so to speak and there is so much different information out there.
The one thing I am going to work towards is to have 3 months food produce so if the shit did hit the fan and food became so expensive or if for any reason food became hard to get we would be safe for a while.


Now I know some people think preppers are well: selfish, mad, crazy, off there rockers and many other names beside but I truly think they have the right idea on a lot of stuff.
Do you know servivle skills? Would you know how to make shelter or cook outdoors. It takes me back to my girl guiding days we learned so much it was amazing. It's a shame that young people would not know what to do if they were not within arms reach of a plug socket.

I can't wait to teach my children how make a fire out doors and cook. I really want to go camping with them (hubby wouldn't ) we go the caravan which is half way there to camping.

It's funny we're above people may think preppers are selfish but to me I do not feel that way when I think of stocking a good food pantry I think of my parents my sisters and there family's. having enough to make up a massive pan of pasta and veggie tomato source. Or a stew

The USA preppers talk of guns/knives and weapons besides it scares me that the fighting thing goes to there heads and it becomes more important than the food ext.

When I think of prepping I often think of medical first aid having kids with additional needs it would be very important. I already have a very large first aid kids and always have medication of somewhat in the house too.

I think my first point of call will be the pound shops. They have grown in the uk over the last few years and in our little town we have around six, now when I get an idea in my head I rush in to it head long but I'm going to try keep it slow and just buy one or two extra tins when we go shopping. I will be buying big bags of pasta and rice to stock up iv seen people use the two Ltr pop bottles which look good but I'm not running to all them oxigon things to take O2 out of the food packet. I'm going for food lasting years (we haven't got room ) so as I said above like a security blanket I will work towards having 3 months stock in the house.
So yes that's me, I know many wont read hear but I'm not doing it for that so I will be back

my son

the last six months nursery and our selves have notist joseph going vacent at time and then coming round in a short time, we have told our peeds and we were sent for an ecg two days after this nursery rang me saying joseph collapes strait down was vacent and a moment later he jumped up and started playing. I was devastated and worried of what it was.
talked to peeds at the beginning of the week and she booked him for an MIR.

today finley and emily had an appointment and joseph in front of his doc (she was busy talking to someone) collapsed on the floor infront of me face down smacking his head too I rolled him over and he stared right through me like I wasn't there.
I picked him up and the next second he was smiling pointing to his head and wanting to paint.

jenny was with me and talking to the doctor I sobbed I just don't know what it is, I am worried. I think it is because of his head deformity and his brain not having room but when will it stop, again I have no idea what will happen next due to the syndrome he has.
I know all I have done is moan in the last few posts I have done but I feel shit and suffocated at the mo.

I am dreading nursery will ask me to take joseph out or something because they don't want a duff kid. they always ring us when this that and the other is wrong if he starts fitting or collapsing left right and center they may not want to responsibility

11 minutes ago · Edit Post · Delete Post

feeling deppressed

I feel like I am ready to leave uni, I can not leave though I owe it to my self to stay but I don't feel I can carry on anymore.
I can not sleep I am feeling anxious all over again and feeling paranoid.

last tuesday was horrid and I was so guilty for all the things I never did or didn't do before she died and on wed nursery rang and said he had another funny turn but this time he collapsed as well
(he has been vacant moments his eyes have been rolling and he shacked 9not fits) we have seen this too so he was sent for an ecg which didn't show anything)
they said he then sat up had a hug and went of and played again.
so he is now having a ct scan.

it is all too much for me I feel like I have gone backwards 10 steps and I am now feeling terrified of having schizophrenia or something I am scared I am heading for a breakdown or something, I know I am not the only one with problems but im not sure how much more I can cope with.
appointments after appointments and each appointment makes one more or in some cases two more. 
this month I have had/having 14 appointments 9 for joseph 1 for emily and 4 for me
I am at uni 3 days and in work placement one day so it leaves me little time for appointments so I have been missing uni left right and center and I am trying to get extensions because I have two assignments due on the 10 and I have only started one of them.

I am just at the end of it all I need my teeth sorted but I can not get the time for an appointment my self, I can not go to cbt because I have no time (I have asked her if I can come again in the summer holidays next year because it is the only time I will have time) 

my washer is fucked all though I want a new one anyway im going to have to wait not that that is anything to do with it but I lost my way a little.

today we went to yet another appointment with the genetastist she was nice and said they haven't found anything new although they did find a story of a little boy with the same hands and feet of mine but none of the other things. 
she told me of funding being given to the genetics at leeds and my family have been flagged up so she wants a full blood count from me, martyn and emily they already have charlottes and joseph's on file.
she said don't pin all your hopes on it because they may not find anything but they have in the last few years recognized 5 genetic make ups.

she went on about having loads of tests when I next got pregnant but she was told firmly by both me and martyn that it wouldn't be necessary as we would not terminate a pregnancy..

I feel ok for typing all this but I just feel like I am going nuts again my iron isn't sorted because the tossers canceled my infusion because I am not aloud the stuff they gave me because of asthma so I am still feeing like shit and look as pale as a ghost.

ggggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

THE END (sob sob sob)

charlotte eve short , 16/7/2004---23/11/2005

charlotte was born on the 16th of july 2004 almost a year after our wedding I was 18 still (only just) she was a little gem sent to guild us in to the adults we were to become, we knew from the start it was an uphill walk, upon leaving the hospital we had 3 hospital appointments to go to.

as time went by when I was (nutty mummy) we loved her dearly and found out more things that she had but faced them head on.
she was fed through a tube she was on medication she would eat and needed operations but still she smiled and laughed she was such a happy lade back little girl who loved being awake (if she didn't fall back to sleep)
untill a normal illness which she had monthly turned in to phenomena and 16hrs after being admitted she slipped away and finished her fight.

I have decided

I have decided to right a new blog on world war's
I know very little about the in's an out's of world wars so I have opened a blog and I am going to try and post and find out information  for me and for who ever reads it.

it is hear   http://ramblingondotcom.blogspot.com/

it will be slow as I am at uni but your welcome to have a look.